It did. I called them on Thursday and I was like I'M COMING IN. DEAL. My wonderful suitemate Michelle had to get into some glorious conversations with UHS and security to coordinate my transport to the UHS building. I got there, fainted while they took my blood pressure, and then laid down in a back room for about 4 hours where they took some blood for a mono test. They'd call with the results in the morning.
They called me in the morning to tell me to come in, which worried me a little because I thought they'd tell me over the phone. I got to the building, they called me in right away, and sat me down. The doctor came in and said my blood test results were abnormal. She kept asking me about other symptoms, I kept shaking my head, and then she told me that the pathologist found traces of leukemia. Leukemia. What? Nope. She's lying. But wait, she's serious.
Commence sobbing.
All the doctors and nurses were tearing up and crying when they saw me, and all I could think was that all of my lifelong plans and dreams were over because I was going to die in 5 minutes. They called my parents and my wonderful boyfriend, Andrew, and the nurse took us over to Strong Hospital.
What really got me was walking into the "Cancer Center." I'm 19 years old, I'm not supposed to have cancer. At this point I still hadn't stopped crying. For any of you country fans, I couldn't get "Skin" by Rascal Flatts out of my head. Soon I met a really nice doctor named Dr. Liesveld at Strong, and she walked me through everything. She talked to my aunt about all sorts of platelet and blood cell counts while Andrew and I just sat around confused. We eventually came to the conclusion that I'd be going home to NJ and getting treatment there, so I got some more bloodwork done, got some antibiotics, and waited for sa-kurity to come pick us up.
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| I sent this picture to my brother while sitting outside Strong Hospital. I had to wear this beautiful mask because I have no immune system. |
I got back to the dorm and slowly started breaking the news to my friends. I emailed my scholarship board, NJR, Vocal Point, and some of my friends who go to school elsewhere. Some cried, some were just in shock. The highlight of the night was definitely Vocal Point's gift basket. If you guys are reading this, I have seriously never seen you guys work faster lmao. It was so sweet and wonderful and it really made me smile. I expect you to come perform at Sloan-Kettering in the near future. =)
So my parents came to get me, we all cried while saying goodbye, and we had a nice long 6 hour drive back to NYC. We got to the hospital at about 3am, and by the time they finished all their tests and whatnot, it was almost 6am. Seriously, the longest day of my life.
I don't think it's really set in yet. A week ago I was just drinking smoothies in Matt's room to soothe my sore throat, and now I'm in a hospital bed hooked up to an IV to wash out the toxins from all the cancer cells in my blood. It just doesn't seem real. But I'm staying strong and I'll be better soon!
But honestly, what's going to make this so much easier is the support I've been getting from all my friends and family. I'm sorry if I don't answer you all directly, I've just been so exhausted. That's mostly why I'm making this blog: to keep you all updated. But thank you all so much for your messages and gifts and support already, it really means a lot to me. Especially Andrew, who spent every waking moment with me yesterday from my diagnosis until I got into the car to leave. Andrew, I love you so much and don't know what I'd do without you.
Sorry this was the longest post in the world. It mirrors my long day. The rest of these posts will probably be MUCH shorter. I'll see you all soon, bye for now!
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